Online Jester Gifts

Farce Book

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Hardware and software

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

Nanopsychiatry.

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

Never poke fun.

'This decaf's lousy.'

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'