Virtual Jester Gifts

"Mom, I'm losing my edge with remote learning. I've forgotten how to harass a substitute teacher!"

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

Hardware and software

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

Walkie Talkie Company CEO has in/out boxes labeled: Talk the talk, Walk the Walk.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Nanopsychiatry.

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

'This decaf's lousy.'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

"There's something you should know about me."

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

Texting Rodeo Clown

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.