Visual Jester Gifts

"It's ok for you! My cartoonist just can't adapt to his new varifocals!"

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Hardware and software

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

Walkie Talkie Company CEO has in/out boxes labeled: Talk the talk, Walk the Walk.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"What if it's smarter than us?"

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Nanopsychiatry.

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."