Artful Jester Gifts

"So if you don't use oils or acrylics, what do you use?" (Artist using striped toothpaste).

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Books / Coffee table books

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Pandora's Change Purse...

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"But, honestly, I've never been more serious."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

To sleep, perchance to wake up as a different person.

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

Never poke fun.

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'