Genius Jester Gifts

"I'm a wunderkind slash flop."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Bad Interview Technique

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

I am one with stupid.

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

Genetic Research Institute - "Darling we were made for each other."

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."