Spiritual Jester Gifts

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

"I don't know. I guess you mount it on the back of your car."

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."

When they say New-Ager, they mean neurotic.

How Clowns Find Their Inner Peace.

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"I suppose you think that's funny."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Golly, is it that time already?'

I am one with stupid.

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Eucharist

Somewhere in France - John O'Dowd jests away his junior year abroad

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"The Real Reason For Global Warming."

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Houston, you're not going to believe this...'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

'...I mean on the one hand you have a set of avaricious money and status obsessed paper shuffler...'