Celestial Jester Gifts

"You've been unfriended."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

Excommunicate Me.

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

"The Real Reason For Global Warming."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

'Houston, you're not going to believe this...'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man

"Wow, I've never met an astronomer before."

"Last dunk and then we need to do work."

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"

The Ekert Saga: '...Oh...did I fahget to mention it happened behfah, physicists call it the big bang..'

'I'm sorry but you obviously don't believe in God because you didn't forward the religious emails to 10 or more people in your address book.'

Mr. Science Times

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

"The fact is, I wasn't thoroughly vetted."

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."

Obscure Constellations

Devil Puppeteer

How Clowns Find Their Inner Peace.

'Hey you earthling! Today is the last day of your life!' - Hello Houston... Something is telling me this is the last day of my life!