Cosmic Jesters Gifts

'Did he leave an actual horoscope that I could read?'

"I wonder what kind of welcome we'll get on this planet?"

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Not now, Oliver."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Cosmonaughty

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

If this plutonium should start to roam,box it's ears and sent it home.

"The Real Reason For Global Warming."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

'Houston, you're not going to believe this...'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

The First Man to Ride the Moon

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

"Ohhh! Now I get it!"

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"

The Ekert Saga: '...Oh...did I fahget to mention it happened behfah, physicists call it the big bang..'

Stand up comedians from outer space.

New Planets