Quantum Jesters Gifts

'That's intellectually dishonest, Sid.'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

Rodins rotten juggler

"Any other skills?"

If this plutonium should start to roam,box it's ears and sent it home.

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

Pumping up wig in blender.

'He said his first buzz word today!'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Isn't that kind of thing generally frowned upon in the real mob.'

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

Quantum Mechanics Mechanics working on Atoms

"Are you certain that we have already detected all types of quarks?"

'Oh, about your theory - Heisenberg thinks he's found a loophole.'

Looking for a cool cat.

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Chris Matthews'

Two particles outside Hadron Collider; 'Fancy getting smashed this evening?'

'Pavlov's dog eating Schrodinger's cat'

'Your glaucoma will never improve this way, Buzzy.'

"It's creepy the way they play with their food."

Schrodinger's Cow

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

"I wonder what kind of welcome we'll get on this planet?"

'Did he leave an actual horoscope that I could read?'

"Not the God I expected."

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms

'You spend all your time indoors trolling people. In my day we went out doors and mugged someone.'

'How can you not know if your cat is dead or alive, Mr Schrodinger?'

'You know the saying 'He who dies with the most toys wins?' Well, THIS is what you win!'