Quantum Joker Gifts

'Pavlov's dog eating Schrodinger's cat'

Boss? It's way past the 1st of the month and I still haven't received my paycheck. That's because the state requires that I pay you monthly, but it's not specific about whose month. Haven't you ever heard of gravitational time dilation? Time passes more slowly for an observer who's closer to a significant gravitational mass than it does for an observer who's farther away. Because I'm closer to my massive bank account than you are, one month for me is two months for you. I want my check by the en

Schrodinger's Cow

'I have yes been to night school learning quantum theory - do I have to explain it to you?'

Quantum Mechanics Mechanics working on Atoms

"Are you certain that we have already detected all types of quarks?"

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Intelligent people laugh too!

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'You know too much,'

Good News about winter

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Fish hunting for men.

Candid Camera store.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

Shoes Make The Man

Caution May Contain Nuts.

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'