Whimsical Joker Gifts

A herd of sheep stand in a field; one sheep is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Staff".

Oh, please, Bob, I know when you've been snacking between meals.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

Fittd shēt

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

Pole Star

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

Prisoner still life painting.

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

"See how it feels"

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Climbing to the moon

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Adult Absence Notes.

Eucharist

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'