Whimsical Joker Pillows

A herd of sheep stand in a field; one sheep is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Staff".

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Fittd shēt

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

Pole Star

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

Prisoner still life painting.

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"See how it feels"

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Adult Absence Notes.

Eucharist

Climbing to the moon

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'