Whimsical Jokester Gifts

You don't have to say "hi" every time we pass each other, Bob.

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"I said slime."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'Sheep striptease'.

Men dancing

Leaving cards.

Moon Pies.

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Factory Recall Unicorn.

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Snowman Tattoo

"You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rabbit. Now just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Sprague?"

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

"I'm very highly strung!"