Artistic Jokester Gifts

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

Artist

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Broad Minded

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Gang of Musicians

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

Serpent Instrument player

"An olive or a twist?"

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

"About 77,000 years ago the human lineage split into two branches. Homo sapiens sapiens and Homo stupidicus dumbelsii."