Artistic Jokester T-Shirts

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

Artist

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

Broad Minded

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Gang of Musicians

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse