Artful Jokester T-Shirts

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"The Eggsorcist"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Gustav Holst

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

Medusa's baby picture

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'