Whimsical Jokester T-Shirts

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"I said slime."

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Men dancing

'Sheep striptease'.

Leaving cards.

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Factory Recall Unicorn.

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Snowman Tattoo

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

"You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rabbit. Now just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Sprague?"

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

"Oh, Bruno! Just look at the subtle hues in those tulips!"

Gang of Musicians