Galactic Joker Gifts

"It's always about YOU."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

Pole Star

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Veloci-Rapper

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"Those are the sickos that made a film of Zorg's autopsy!"

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"Are there space-babes?"

Climbing to the moon

"They seem to be most concerned with what shape it is."

'Well, as I live and breathe. If it isn't Rex Harris! I thought you were extinct.'

Customer complains about an asteroid in his food.

'Whoops!'