Intergalactic Joker Gifts

"They seem to be most concerned with what shape it is."

Space Rover Finds Desert Crawlers

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

Pole Star

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"See how it feels"

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

Complaints Desk

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'Ms Grimski, prepare to invade earth.'

Climbing to the moon

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"Those are the sickos that made a film of Zorg's autopsy!"

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Seances of the future