Interstellar Joker Gifts

Cosmic Weekly - New Galaxy Discovered! Alf Centauri.

Ass-tronauts.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Pole Star

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Complaints Desk

Death Photobombs a Holiday

"See how it feels"

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Climbing to the moon

"Those are the sickos that made a film of Zorg's autopsy!"

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

Seances of the future

"They seem to be most concerned with what shape it is."

Customer complains about an asteroid in his food.

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'Whoops!'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Serious business