Interstellar Jokester Gifts

Moon's Portaloo.

Proof that there was life on Mars: NO FISHING SIGN.

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

Serious business

"Our dark energy bill is through the roof, the stores are out of dark matter, and all our strange matter is being recalled! What in great galaxies is going on?"

Mars Welcome

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"Not now, Oliver."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

Cosmonaughty

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

The first transatlantic communication.

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

Seances of the future

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

The First Man to Ride the Moon

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

Black Hole Corks