Interstellar Humorist Gifts

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

"You'll have to excuse him. He's a gassy planet."

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

I'll play the streaky red meteor into the blue planet into corner black hole. Fat chance! You haven't made that shot since the dinosaurs were down there!

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

'Yes Houston, I did sound the horn!!'

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"B*****d!"

'An astronaut's pay isn't great, but we make a lot in mileage allowances.'

'Sir, you're not going to believe this but the vatican is preparing to move into our territory.'

Alpha Centuri crushes earth in straight sets.

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

God Sneezes Out Creation

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Clown God

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

Water is discovered on the moon....

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'