Spacefaring Humorist Gifts

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Save Our Universe

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

"Are there space-babes?"

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

How's my abducting?

Stand up comedians from outer space.

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''