Space Humorist Gifts

"What's with the shape changing thing?"

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

Moon's Portaloo.

'Oh, for Pete's sake! Will you tell Milligan that it's HIS turn to clean the bird doo off of the telescope lens?!'

Astronaut dowsing on new planet.

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Is someone trying to tell us something..?

New evidence from Curiosity; Martian blood likely to be green.

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

"Dang! I hate orbiting behind a gas giant..."

'I come from. . . URANUS!'

'Not to be rude, but would you be considered a regular alien or a chubby alien?'

'Thanks, I had a great time. Just remember: What happens in Venus, stays in Venus.'

Space Man

A Pollo XIII

"Rings? - no, they're just spy satellites...

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'

'Look! A falling satellite! Make a wish!'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Stand up comedians from outer space.

'Air Breathed By Astronaut: 25 cents

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

Yeah, I never know when I should tell someone their fly is open.

Mission to Mars. Astronaut Candidate Interviews. You think you'd be a good morale officer? The voyage to Mars and back is 100 million miles. I turn "miles" into "smiles"!

It feels like the world is spinning because the world IS spinning, you dope.

Nasa's going to give the moon a moon. What? It's going to capture an asteroid and put it in lunar orbit so we can practice docking with it and maybe mine it. Do you think it's too late for me to become and astronaut? I would love to be the first human being to say "can you hear me now" from an asteroid. Your deeds will be remember for centuries. I want to be the first human to moon the moon from the moon's moon.

"We come to visit you from the before time."