Space Travel Humorist Gifts

Remember, there's an additional charge if you don't refill the tank before you return it.

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

Other than the countless probings, how would you rate your stay with us?

Unaware of the importance of dryer sheets, the crew of the starship enterprise embarrassingly warp through space with static Klingons.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Save Our Universe

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

Moon's Portaloo.

Black Hole Corks

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

Actually, I think you looked better with Atlantis.

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

Stand up comedians from outer space.

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

Chalk Bored

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."