Space Travel Humorists Gifts

'And, the reason for leaving your last planet?'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

Save Our Universe

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

Moon's Portaloo.

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

Map of Solar System from Memory.

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Stand up comedians from outer space.

Actually, I think you looked better with Atlantis.

(No caption. Astronaut on the the moon looks at an outhouse with a picture of the Earth where the crescent moon would be.)

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."

"Captain...I'm detecting Hemorrhoids off our starboard bow."

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'