Space Mission Humorist Gifts

Why it took 15 years to deploy the X-ray telescope.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Save Our Universe

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

Moon's Portaloo.

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

Black Hole Corks

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

Stand up comedians from outer space.

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

Actually, I think you looked better with Atlantis.

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'

'I come from. . . URANUS!'