Space Travel Satirist Gifts

Is removing the lid fm a jar of pickles easier in zero gravity?

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

Moon's Portaloo.

"If you work hard, exploit your employees, take advantage of a pandemic, use loopholes to avoid taxes,hoard your wealth, and in an act of extreme self-indulgent meaningless vanity, you can someday be an astronaut."

"Well, isn't this just great? I told you this planet was in a sketchy neighborhood."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

The Black Hole Commission

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Stand up comedians from outer space.

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

"Captain...I'm detecting Hemorrhoids off our starboard bow."

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

'Sorry folks, Tractor Beam's broken. We'll have to use a tractor piece of rope.'

Invasion if the Ill prepared Giants!

Unaware of the importance of dryer sheets, the crew of the starship enterprise embarrassingly warp through space with static Klingons.

'I come from. . . URANUS!'

"Feeling very much at home here, Houston."

Astronaut dowsing on new planet.

Mission to Mars. Astronaut Candidate Interviews. You think you'd be a good morale officer? The voyage to Mars and back is 100 million miles. I turn "miles" into "smiles"!

New evidence from Curiosity; Martian blood likely to be green.

Is someone trying to tell us something..?

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'