Intergalactic Comedian Gifts

"All the barking – NOW do you get it?"

"Yeah, it works, but you still shouldn't have forgotten the flag!"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Any Grass planet was a welcome edition to the Cattle Empire.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"Houston, we have a problem."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

The Origins of Everything

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

Science fiction fans on other planets

Neil Armstrong Outtakes