Galactic Comedian Gifts

On the way back from Mars, you wanna swing by the moon, just for laughs?

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

Clown God

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

Save Our Universe

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

The Origins of Everything

Science fiction fans on other planets