Galactic Humorists Gifts

"Now will you take me to your leader?"

"I need 7 billion leaflets saying 'Surrender Earthlings'!"

"Did you hear about Henderson? He went out with his fly open."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Save Our Universe

Clown God

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Mars Rover