Intergalactic Humorists Gifts

The Cow Pie Gods smile upon us, gentlemen!

Astronauts see 'Martian' with fig leaf on face.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

"Are there space-babes?"

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

'Ms Grimski, prepare to invade earth.'

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

Seances of the future

Moon's Portaloo.

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

Small laughing space creatures.

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

"Space is not for pussies!"

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

Map of Solar System from Memory.

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

How's my abducting?

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'