Intergalactic Humorists Pillows

The Cow Pie Gods smile upon us, gentlemen!

Astronauts see 'Martian' with fig leaf on face.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

"Are there space-babes?"

'Ms Grimski, prepare to invade earth.'

Seances of the future

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

Small laughing space creatures.

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

Map of Solar System from Memory.

How's my abducting?

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''