Intergalactic Humor Lover Pillows

Susie...are we even on the right planet?

"Houston, we have a problem."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Save Our Universe

Marry me astronaut

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

"It's Houston. They have a problem."

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

"Are there space-babes?"

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

'Ms Grimski, prepare to invade earth.'

Seances of the future

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

Small laughing space creatures.

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

How's my abducting?

Planeterrium.

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."