Intergalactic Humor Lovers Pillows

"Make up your mind...it's freezing in here!"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Save Our Universe

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

'Ms Grimski, prepare to invade earth.'

"Are there space-babes?"

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

Seances of the future

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"Space is not for pussies!"

Small laughing space creatures.

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

How's my abducting?

TPP

"B*****d!"

"Yeah, it works, but you still shouldn't have forgotten the flag!"

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

"Can you take over the controls? I've got to take a number 4!"