Galactic Humor Lover Gifts

"In space, there is no sound. Except those - we can still hear those @#%* things."

Shuttle wash

Save Our Universe

'It's strictly catch and release, but Coconut Shrimp is great bait.'

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

First Contact

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"It's Houston. They have a problem."

"With the whole world in NATO, we won't have to take any more crap from Mars."

"Thank you earthlings, without your space junk we would be nothing."

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

"Are there space-babes?"

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

'Ms Grimski, prepare to invade earth.'

First attempt at the Big Bang

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

"Space is not for pussies!"

Small laughing space creatures.

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

"Be realistic, how can lumps of rock zooming around in space affect our lives down here?"

"What am I, chopped liver?"