Interstellar Jokester T-Shirts

Proof that there was life on Mars: NO FISHING SIGN.

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

Serious business

Mars Welcome

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Not now, Oliver."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Cosmonaughty

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

Seances of the future

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

The First Man to Ride the Moon

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

Black Hole Corks