Celestial Jokester T-Shirts

'Will you stop sulking? -- I didn't eclipse you on purpose!'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

"The fact is, I wasn't thoroughly vetted."

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."

Obscure Constellations

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

'No, no, Professor - I said 'Show me URANUS!'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

'It's been way easier to keep track of everyone since the Air Miles program.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Clown God

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Not now, Oliver."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Water is discovered on the moon....

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

'It's all done with computer animation now.'