Galactic Jokester T-Shirts

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"Not now, Oliver."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"You think it's tough down there?"

Cosmonaughty

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

"Are there space-babes?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

Seances of the future

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

The First Man to Ride the Moon

Black Hole Corks

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'