Galactic Jokester Mugs

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"Not now, Oliver."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Human Sex Chromosomes: Female/Male/Male Who Leaves Fly Open.

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

Cosmonaughty

"You think it's tough down there?"

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"Are there space-babes?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

Seances of the future

Moon's Portaloo.

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

The First Man to Ride the Moon

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

Black Hole Corks

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'