Galactic Humorist T-Shirts

'I warned you not to have the chili, Bob!'

How's my abducting?

'I'd really like to do something about these spots.'

'I'm inspired by courageous handicapped people like you.'

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

"I don't know what it is, but it's big and I'm putting it on ebay!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

'I'm beginning to worry -- it's been years since Agent Perot reported in.'

"May I have some sugar?"

"Shoot! I forgot to turn off my data roaming!"

"Can you take over the controls? I've got to take a number 4!"

"It's a very unusual virus. Have you ever been on Mars?"

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

Earth Going Viral

Earth self-isolating

Cola Observatory

'That looks nothing like me.'

'Mr. President, the sun just went nova! -- what will we do?', 'Issue a statement blaming Bush!'

Freak Accident.

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'Plenty more where that came from, baby.'

Out of nowhere the astronauts discover a new moon.

"You better avoid mercury. Today, he is in retrograde."

In a galaxy far from our own, parents at junior sporting events behaved much as they do here.

"The universe is expanding faster than ever, and i don't even feel a breeze."

"Are there space-babes?"

Alien Magician

"Hang on -- I'm going to make the jump to 90 m.p.h."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

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