Galactic Humor Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I hate to blow the place up, but it's way out of compliance with Galactic standards."

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'The Universe isn't coming to an end, Schneebart -- you just left the lens cap on!'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Save Our Universe

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

"Are there space-babes?"

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

How's my abducting?

Stand up comedians from outer space.

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"Can you take over the controls? I've got to take a number 4!"

Chalk Bored

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

Bad luck.

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"