Ethereal Jokester T-Shirts

'I miss the evildoers.'

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Seances of the future

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"I hate his 'holier than thou' attitude."

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

Serious business

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'Existential truckstop'

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

"Can you take over the controls? I've got to take a number 4!"

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

'Sorry -- that's not on our list of approved churches.'

'I thought everybody would be equal here'

"Wait, there you are. I was spelling it wrong."

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

"So how are the natives - are they friendly?" "Why don't you ask Frank."