Queue Jesters Gifts

Soothing music whilst waiting for phone line - for Vivaldi press 1.....

"I hate performance review season."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Richard the Turd

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

"Any other skills?"

Rodins rotten juggler

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

Pumping up wig in blender.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

' I hope you're not trying to suggest that I don't pay you enough Foster ! '

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

"I'll have my people call your people."

Stationary mountain bike.

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

'I ran with them once.'

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

Work/Life Balance.

Help Wanted Signs Explained.

Don't be such a poor loser. You knew this would happen when you lost the Flopsies account !

You only get your tonsils out once. Milk it.

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

"It's creepy the way they play with their food."

Dried Herbs