Queue Jester Gifts

Test your patience, back in one hour.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

Ski kicker.

Show Jumping Tantrums

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

Thanks TSA

Time-Off Coupons

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

Late entry in the Hop, Skip and Jump event!

'You'll have to excuse her - being on hold with Disneyland Paris has sent her goofy...'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

"Over, damn you, over!"

'And press nine if you are loosing the will to live!'

Supermarket traffic lights.

The health dept. begins psychological audits...'And last summer at the bank, when the line was moving very slowly, you started shouting. What was that about?'

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

Line Forms Here / Line Ends Here.

'You're breathing out deliberately!'

Our menu has changed. To hear this message again, press 1. To hang up, press 2.

A long wait

"Go. The sign has a bigger impact when someone's just sitting there."

'Uh - oh... it seems the cashout queue was really long today...'

"Mr. Jones, the doctor says it's OK to move you ahead of the queue and he'll see you now!"

"I thought that once we were up here, we'd finished with doctors' waiting rooms!"

Domino Toppling Championship

"Wish me luck, I'm off to the shops to join the socially distanced queues..."

'Do you expect me to stand here all day?' - 'No, we close in ten minutes.'