Queue Questioner Gifts

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Answers to last week's brain-teasers

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

The First Commuters

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

Impatient queue of people. The signs read queue here,sigh heavily from here, and Tut Loudly from here.

"Who's next?"

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

TSA Lines

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

"The lines are a bit slow today...so here's something to help pass the time!"

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

Frequently Asked Questions

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.