Queue Warrior Gifts

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

'You'll have to excuse her - being on hold with Disneyland Paris has sent her goofy...'

Queue for the toilet.

The health dept. begins psychological audits...'And last summer at the bank, when the line was moving very slowly, you started shouting. What was that about?'

'Margie, that rude guy who's always on his cell phone is coming through my line again!'

"Your call is important to us, you are currently number two hundred and eighty in a queue of two hundred and eighty three...!!"

Welcome to our new Express Checkout.

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

La Table

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

When collective bargaining is outlawed!: 'To work here, you have to wear this metal collar!'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

The interminable!

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

The First Commuters

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'I'll take #1.'

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Sorry about the long wait, but good news. Other than long waits in waiting rooms, I can't find any other causes for your irritability."

"Well, if you want my blood pressure lower don't keep waiting two hours to see you."

'Have I been waiting long? Well, I guess so. I was forty three years old when I came in.'

"The doctor would like to know if anyone else out here needs surgery before he puts his stuff away."

"You appear to have caught that bug that's been going around my waiting room."

"When did we switch from magazines to musical instruments?"