Cinema Queue Warrior Gifts

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

La Table

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

"Kids, look at the weather! Why don't you play outside?"

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

"The doctor says Tia Carmen is resting now...he's encouraging all family visitors to go home. We'll see you back here tomorrow."

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

The interminable!

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

The First Commuters

Facebook's business model

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

'I'll take #1.'

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

'Have I been waiting long? Well, I guess so. I was forty three years old when I came in.'

"Sorry about the long wait, but good news. Other than long waits in waiting rooms, I can't find any other causes for your irritability."

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

"The lines are a bit slow today...so here's something to help pass the time!"

"Well, if you want my blood pressure lower don't keep waiting two hours to see you."

"The doctor would like to know if anyone else out here needs surgery before he puts his stuff away."

"You appear to have caught that bug that's been going around my waiting room."