Queue Commander Gifts

'We sure do. . . we have birds, patriotic, dogs, national parks, singers from the old south. . .'

Line Forms Here / Line Ends Here.

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

The interminable!

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Thanks TSA

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

Beach Bouncer

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

'You'll have to excuse her - being on hold with Disneyland Paris has sent her goofy...'

Young against old

'So close! If only you hasn't cut in line here!'

'And press nine if you are loosing the will to live!'

Taxi Rank

Supermarket traffic lights.

'Next time?'

The health dept. begins psychological audits...'And last summer at the bank, when the line was moving very slowly, you started shouting. What was that about?'

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

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