Queue Master Gifts

Please wait to be tormented for all eternity in the fires of Hell

Thanks TSA

'Quit pushing. What's the hurry?'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

The interminable!

The First Commuters

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

"You don't need English on every shot."

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'He's lost a lot of eight-ball.'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

Time-Off Coupons

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"We'd like to begin by boarding all passengers who feel impatient."

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

'You'll have to excuse her - being on hold with Disneyland Paris has sent her goofy...'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

'So close! If only you hasn't cut in line here!'

"I told you we had to leave earlier."

Line Forms Here / Line Ends Here.

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

'What are books?'

The health dept. begins psychological audits...'And last summer at the bank, when the line was moving very slowly, you started shouting. What was that about?'

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."

'Next time?'

Sports that the British excel at: Queuing.

'Now you're snookered!'

"I identify with shorter lines."

'I like being last in line. That way, I'm the last fool to part with his money.'

'It says here the D.M.V. got hit by a robbery today that took 3 hours. . . you know how those lines are.'